Andoy (first-name
basis?) told me that there is another cave perfect for experienced spelunkers:
the Sierra Cave. The one we were going to was named
Callao, the one
with seven chambers and a church. Okay, let me clarify that. By church I do not
mean as in a whole structure inside the cave. There are just benches and an
altar in there right where the sunlight hits the interior of the cave. I
managed to ask a stupid question in the form of Is this man-made? The boy was
polite though and answered me with a Yes. I expected him to hit me with No,
dumbass. The cave fairies have PhD’s in Furniture Making and the altar was
molded by worker bats using Play Doh mixed with their very own excrement.
The first chamber
is called the Aviary Room. The names of the chambers are creative, actually. I
forgot the name of the second one. The third one is easy to remember because it
is called the Porn Room. Don’t ask. I think I noted the names of each chamber
in the video I took, which you should just watch to have a look-see of the
cave. Back to the first chamber, that is where you would find the benches and
the altar. Or were they in the second chamber? Just watch the
video, okay? I will just describe what I can remember.
After the church
is the Porn Room. The formations of some stalactites and stalagmites in there
are quite suggestive. Some of them are given a different glow thanks to the
artificial spotlight placed in a corner. What I remember about the next chamber
is that we had to climb a few steps but the view was cool because you could
really see the rays of the sun so clearly. It seemed as if anytime an alien
would suddenly descend and abduct you. Within the vicinity are various rock
formations which look like hamburgers, scoops of ice cream, skeletons, a
gorilla’s head, a praying angel, etc. Of course, this depends on your
perspective. One person’s angel could be another one’s burger. You really could not
tell for sure.
The sixth and
seventh chambers are accessible for those who would really like to go. As for
me I preferred not to. The ground was almost green with fungi. It was going to
be a very slippery route. We decided to go back. The cave excursion did not
take long. It only took us around half an hour to tour the whole thing. Before
we knew it we have already crossed the river and I was already paying 40 pesos
round trip when it was only supposed to be 20, as rather obviously indicated in
the signboards on both sides of the river. Would you still consider it as getting ripped-off when you actually volunteered? The Quadsi driver was
nowhere to be found when we got back. If he was planning trick us it would have
been his loss because I had not given him a single centavo yet when I left him
waiting there. We ran into him while walking to Andoy’s house.
The kid is really
knowledgeable of the place and not that annoying since he only resorted to
verbal diarrhea and trivia overload when needed. I met his stepmother and they
were offering me space in their house to spend the night. Really nice people. I
would have accepted and it would have been a different kind of vacation if I
did because I would have gotten the chance to live with the locals. They said the
only problem was they only had tuyo to share for dinner. Are you kidding me? I
love tuyo! I actually prefer tinapa, but hey, both delicious dried fish! I had to decline
because I was already set to leave for Santa Ana late that afternoon.
PEÑABLANCA: 02 – The Porn Room
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