Saturday, March 12, 2011

PEÑABLANCA: 02 – The Porn Room


Andoy (first-name basis?) told me that there is another cave perfect for experienced spelunkers: the Sierra Cave. The one we were going to was named Callao, the one with seven chambers and a church. Okay, let me clarify that. By church I do not mean as in a whole structure inside the cave. There are just benches and an altar in there right where the sunlight hits the interior of the cave. I managed to ask a stupid question in the form of Is this man-made? The boy was polite though and answered me with a Yes. I expected him to hit me with No, dumbass. The cave fairies have PhD’s in Furniture Making and the altar was molded by worker bats using Play Doh mixed with their very own excrement.


The first chamber is called the Aviary Room. The names of the chambers are creative, actually. I forgot the name of the second one. The third one is easy to remember because it is called the Porn Room. Don’t ask. I think I noted the names of each chamber in the video I took, which you should just watch to have a look-see of the cave. Back to the first chamber, that is where you would find the benches and the altar. Or were they in the second chamber? Just watch the video, okay? I will just describe what I can remember. 


After the church is the Porn Room. The formations of some stalactites and stalagmites in there are quite suggestive. Some of them are given a different glow thanks to the artificial spotlight placed in a corner. What I remember about the next chamber is that we had to climb a few steps but the view was cool because you could really see the rays of the sun so clearly. It seemed as if anytime an alien would suddenly descend and abduct you. Within the vicinity are various rock formations which look like hamburgers, scoops of ice cream, skeletons, a gorilla’s head, a praying angel, etc. Of course, this depends on your perspective. One person’s angel could be another one’s burger. You really could not tell for sure.


The sixth and seventh chambers are accessible for those who would really like to go. As for me I preferred not to. The ground was almost green with fungi. It was going to be a very slippery route. We decided to go back. The cave excursion did not take long. It only took us around half an hour to tour the whole thing. Before we knew it we have already crossed the river and I was already paying 40 pesos round trip when it was only supposed to be 20, as rather obviously indicated in the signboards on both sides of the river. Would you still consider it as getting ripped-off when you actually volunteered? The Quadsi driver was nowhere to be found when we got back. If he was planning trick us it would have been his loss because I had not given him a single centavo yet when I left him waiting there. We ran into him while walking to Andoy’s house.


The kid is really knowledgeable of the place and not that annoying since he only resorted to verbal diarrhea and trivia overload when needed. I met his stepmother and they were offering me space in their house to spend the night. Really nice people. I would have accepted and it would have been a different kind of vacation if I did because I would have gotten the chance to live with the locals. They said the only problem was they only had tuyo to share for dinner. Are you kidding me? I love tuyo! I actually prefer tinapa, but hey, both delicious dried fish! I had to decline because I was already set to leave for Santa Ana late that afternoon.
PEÑABLANCA: 02 – The Porn Room

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