Friday, April 28, 2017
Friday, February 10, 2017
Vanya (Michael Williams), Sonia (Roselyn Perez), and Masha (Cherie Gil) are siblings with a truckload of unresolved issues. Brother Vanya and adopted sister Sonia have watched their lives pass them by, taking care of their ill parents and putting up with the heartache of witnessing them slowly fade into death. Now well past their prime, they spend every single day wondering what to do with their lives, interrupted from time to time by their eagerness to stalk a blue bird landing on their pond. Their only company is the housekeeper who comes once a week. Aside from cleaning the house, she is also an abundant source of unsolicited prophecies warning them about everything, from Sonia breaking the morning coffee cup to Masha selling the house. When movie star sister Masha comes back home with her lover Spike (Joaquin Valdes), an aspiring actor whose biggest achievement in life is almost being cast in Entourage 2, feathers are ruffled as the three are left with no choice but to come to terms with their grudges against one another, culminating in a costume party that will change their lives for good.
Tuesday, February 7, 2017
Monday, February 6, 2017
Okay, so you want to see sculptures made of ice and snow? Repeat after me: Odori. Susukino. Odori. Susukino. Odori. Susukino. These are the only two place names that you have to keep in mind. Both venues are located at the city center. The area is big, but the main tourist attractions are within walking distance from one another. Yes, it’s totally possible for you to see the train station, the clock tower, the TV tower, and the former Hokkaido government office in one morning.
Sunday, February 5, 2017
When someone mentions either snow or ice in Asia, only two big winter festivals come to mind: Harbin and Sapporo. There is another one in China. There should be. Besides, Harbin is not their northernmost city. But when it comes to popularity and tourist attendance, no other festival can touch either of these two for the winter season. Which one you should visit is up to you. As for me, having visited both, I can say that I do have my biases. So perhaps a comparative look would benefit those planning to go soon?
Friday, February 3, 2017
5. Man Eat Man
Abby finds the chest freezer in the garage, as well as who’s inside it. Joel stalks Principal Novak’s grandmother and she translates the manuscripts for him, saying that it’s about a childhood horror story used to scare kids in Serbia. “Man eat man”. She also says that there should be a cure, but he needs to find the book. Googling the title, he begins his search for the person who currently owns the ancient book. Sheila tells Joel to take some time off. Dan (Ricardo Chavira) ambushes him about the severed finger he found at their yard. He doesn’t arrest him, but starts blackmailing him, asking him to be his personal hitman for problematic criminals who keep on escaping. Sheila thinks it’s a good idea that could actually work for them. They struggle with their first victim, who successfully escapes. Sheila is not sure if she actually bit him, and wonders if he’s going to become like her if ever. Later at some random motel, the guy is found unconscious by housekeeping with an insane amount of vomit all over the place. He wakes up.
4. The Farting Sex Tourist
Sheila’s new routine now involves taking a trip to the garage every morning to carve the dead body in her chest freezer, putting it in the blender to make a smoothie that she drinks as she jogs along with her neighbors. She encourages everyone to be their best selves, and her infectious enthusiasm has a domino effect in the neighborhood. Joel, on the other hand, goes on research mode. He has no luck with books at the local paranormal shop, but he does find a 16th century manuscript illustrating the same thing that happened to his wife before she changed. The only problem is that it has Serbian inscriptions that they can’t comprehend. When Principal Novak (Thomas Lennon) calls them to threaten Abby’s suspension due to her frequently cutting classes, Sheila starts targeting him as her next victim, much to Joel’s disagreement. When Abby eventually gets suspended because of her, she corners him with Joel and Abby watching, who thought she’s going to attack. Instead, she threatens him through other means.
3. We Can Kill People
Sheila and Joel lay the groundwork for their killing spree. They agree that there must be a criteria for their victims: at least someone who is bad and won’t be missed. They shop for supplies and equipment, including a chest freezer where they can keep the body to be preserved for future consumption. Abby’s friend is dumped by her drug dealer boyfriend who sells illegal hallucinogens to teens. Overhearing their conversation, the two zero in on their first candidate. Inviting him to an abandoned house under renovation, Sheila prepares to pounce, but is distracted by an important business phone call. Joel chats with their victim over marijuana, finding a good listener for his current dilemmas without revealing the truth. He lets him go, which does not sit well with his starving wife. They have a fender bender on the way home. The driver won’t stop hurling expletives at them. She jumps on him without warning and gets her long delayed meal. They stuff his body in the chest freezer afterwards.
2. We Can't Kill People
Husband and wife bury Gary’s body. The arrival of a car startles them, but they find out that it’s just Abby and Eric, who have tracked them via GPS. Now the four of them know that she has killed and eaten her first victim. They are able to get an offer from the house client that Gary stole from them. As the days go by, Sheila’s longing for human flesh gets stronger and stronger. Frozen meat doesn’t cut it anymore. Freshly killed animals won’t do either. Joel consults a virologist in an effort to shed more light on their situation, but the doctor ends up referring him to a shrink. His trip to the hospital is not in vain, though, as he gets to meet the morgue assistant, who assumes that the couple must just be into necrophilia. With a price tag of $5000 per cadaver, the two only get to afford a foot, which doesn’t appeal to her taste buds either. Although reluctant to kill people at first, he finally succumbs and promises her that they will do whatever they can to keep her cravings satisfied.
1. So Then a Bat or a Monkey
Sheila (Drew Barrymore) and Joel Hammond (Timothy Olyphant) are realtors in a suburb of Santa Clarita, California. She wakes up one morning with a sharp pain in her stomach. She shrugs it off and they head to work, where they are introduced to new transfer Gary West (Nathan Fillion). Eager to sell, the husband and wife tandem takes a couple on a tour of one of their newly-renovated properties, where she throws up an insane amount of vomit along with what seems to be an internal organ. She uses the bathroom as he continues the tour. He later finds her unconscious and seemingly dead on the floor, but she quickly regains consciousness. Later that day she discovers that she has no heartbeat anymore. Their daughter Abby (Liv Hewson) enlists the help of their geeky neighbor Eric (Skyler Gisondo), who concludes that her mother is technically a zombie. The four of them keep it a secret, until Gary drops by and insists on flirting with her. She ends up eating his fingers first, until Joel arrives and finds her feasting on his intestines.