Thursday, February 26, 2009

You Changed My Life


What they could have done was to shorten this movie, shorten A Very Special Love, and then combine them. Voila! One movie. I think AVSL was all "kilig" moments and sacrificed any plot complications necessary for character development. As for this sequel it is less mushy and concentrated more on introducing conflicts to drive the plot forward. It is like making two movies when you could just make one.

I think what is good about this movie and its prequel is that the chemistry between John Lloyd and Sarah is not forced. The audience was not swooning like colegialas in this sequel as they were in the first movie, but they were laughing all the way. So I think the love team still has its charm. It is also good that the movie is not over hyped and that it is not claiming to be anything more than it really is.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Gran Torino


God, how tragic this movie is! It makes me want to massacre bald, plump, idiotic shithead members of good-for-nothing gangs in America. But I think that is why the movie is so brilliant. It makes you want to go ballistic after seeing the injustice done to the characters in the film and then you hold back and realize that it is the exact message that the movie really wants to get across to you, what does violence really achieve? Nothing, really. Just more violence. Worthless violence.

I get the whole Asian ghetto gang thing going on. America could be oh so racist. It is a defense mechanism. Let us band together, wear our bling blings, carry our guns, and roll the streets in our old Honda Civics looking for trouble. Okay, fine if that is what you want. Go! But to force other people, specially those who belong to the same situation you are in, to join your moron club and destroy their lives in the process? What fvcking right have you to impose your stupid world view to other people? Freaking son of a bitch. I hate gangs. Gangs should go to hell! Instead of helping your fellowmen adjust to their already prejudiced lives in America, you try to convince them to be super troublesome gun-wielding bums like you and when they refuse you punish them for it? Shit. Man, I so hate gangs right now. Fvck gangs. Shit, I am so sorry, the movie really just had this effect on me. Shit. Damn gangs. Die gangs, die! Die!

My Hair Has a Mind of its Own

The first time I had my hair shaved five years ago, my mother stopped talking to me for three days. She was quite convinced that I joined a fraternity and according to her, getting rid of my hair was a requirement. My newly shaved head felt good but it did not look good because it has a weird shape, very much like an egg. But more than an egghead, I looked more like a homo extra-terrestrial who had a speech volume impediment. A few weeks later, I qualified for a game show and appeared on national TV looking just like that, preserving the embarrassment for generations to come.

Now I am back sporting the same hairstyle (or lack of it) for the second time around, but with facial hair unshaved I look more like an escaped death row inmate and less like E.T.'s less popular cousin. I could also look like a cocaine addict, if my eye bags cooperate. Nevertheless, it feels good, specially for people like me who suffer bouts of psoriasis very often. At least, now I know I will get rid of that damned skin ailment rapidly. For now. Perhaps in six months, along with the hair, it will come back. Who am I kidding, of course it will come back, but at least not after six months.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Confessions of a Shopaholic


The trailer was hilarious. The movie bored me. I thinks it is because almost all the funny parts were already in the trailer. Slapping the Finnish guy in the trailer was funny. In the movie, not so much. Isla Fisher was fun and bubbly and shrieked a lot. She looked like a petite version of Amy Adams. Or maybe it is just the hair. Fun fact: she is married to Borat.

I think what makes the film boring is that people already saw Prada two years ago and for those who do not dig chick lit we just could not see the difference. There is always a girl in a big city, usually New York. There is always a fashion magazine and a job in that fashion magazine. Designer clothes are always present. The protagonist is always seen carrying a paper bag full of it. There is always a bitchy model semi-villain. And since there is a fashion magazine, there is always a chief editor, usually a cold but fashionable lady patterned after that that Anna Wintour woman.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona


Sorry, Viola Davis, team Penelope for the win! I think what makes Maria Elena interesting is her being neurotic. Thanks to that, the performance is memorable and becomes an instant favorite. Although people would say that Cruz did nothing but rely on hysteria as an excuse for acting depth, I think that she was able to portray Maria Elena very well. Beyond the frequent bouts of insanity you see a human being trying to understand a complex relationship and trying hard to make it work.

What I really liked about this movie was the narration. It is very much like reading a book. The narrator tells you everything you want to know about the story and alternates with the lines delivered by the characters. Usually, using a voice over narration for a movie is annoying but for this film it works out. It sort of gets you hooked because once in a while the soundtrack begins to play and then the narrator butts in, and then there is a montage of events. It gives the illusion that the plot is fast-paced.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Zsa Zsa Zaturnnah Ze Muzikal (Tanghalang Pilipino)


There was a minor glitch in the galaxy light show intro because one of the comets hit one of the smaller planets, HAHAHA. But aside from that everything else was good. It makes you marvel on the ingenuity of the Filipino. We might not have Broadway's spectacular effects or the West End's amazing sets but we make do of what we have, and we create a marvelous job out of it.

Personally, I think the highlight of the show when I saw it two years ago was when Eula Valdez came out in her costume and started singing Babae na Ako. That was one spectacular number and she was amazing. There was no doubt about it, that woman could sing as well as she could act. Unfortunately for this particular show it seemed that the larger CCP venue affected the cast’s singing. Every time there was a lively musical number their voices were drowned by the much louder background music. I think that compromised a part of the show, though it was still entertaining overall.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

I Love You Because (Repertory Philippines)


Like they say on the website it is a modern re-telling of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. I do not know Jane Austen so I have no idea how loyal this adaptation is to the book. As a musical it was good but there were some dull moments, and there was no song that really made an impression.

The comedy in this musical comes from the dialogue, both the witty and the funny. The punch lines were delivered on time and the delivery itself was commendable.

It is a musical and though the musical performances lacked recall I would say that the actors did a great job. The cast can sing and they did so well enough. There was one scene when Diana was explaining her theory about relationships and numbers. She was not singing, just talking fast but every syllable was in unison with the musical accompaniment. It was awesome for the ears. And she was doing all that while acting and moving around. Kudos to the actress.

Like an Army of Ants Attacking Your Face

The dermatologist said I have acne vulgaris. I cannot have acne vulgaris. Acne vulgaris is for teenagers. I am not a teenager. I am 23 years old. But I have acne vulgaris. So they said they would use injection on the big ones. Wait a second, what? Injection? You have got to be kidding me.

You see, I have nothing against pimples. I do not give a rat's ass if I end up a walking pimple farm or pimples with a face. If we could harmoniously co-exist then I am okay with that. Be your very own facial tourists! I will be your island. But when they began to act like facial terrorists I knew I had to do something. But good old Panoxyl was not working anymore.

It must be the fact that the face is closer to the brain so that an accidental hand-to-pimple interaction feels like Pacquaio practicing his boxing skills on you. I cannot tolerate pain like masochists would happily do. So these facial tourists turned terrorists must die! I knew I needed help. I needed professional help! And so I ended up with the dermatologist and her arsenal of mini injections, a.k.a. pimple annihilators.

Saturday, February 14, 2009



Forget the story and the plot. Just watch it. Admire the special effects, laugh at Dakota Fanning getting drunk, and laugh at Chris Evans for landing yet another mutant role, less the leotard this time.

I love Viktor's power, which is similar to Nick's power but more controlled. He is like a bulletproof human! Deflecting all those bullets is just damn cool! In this movie, telekinetics are called Movers. When a Mover moves something the action produces a sound, as is common with other manifestations of telekinesis in other cult flicks like Charmed. But here, they use a special kind of visual effect, some sort of light representing the telekinetic move when it comes in contact with the thing being moved, similar to that they used with Alessandra Rossi's character's power in Etheria but with less annoying color overload. Coolness.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

When I Met You


The poster is incomplete. Where is Marley? Oops, my bad, wrong movie. But the poster looks quite similar. Hmmm... Hahaha.

It was an okay movie. It would have been a good one if they just made it a four-part episode of some teenybopper weekend afternoon drama anthology. Typical formula for a rom-com. They hate each other. They fall for each other. They love each other. The respective partners plot against them. All squeezed in less than two hours.

KC Concepcion's acting was okay. I have not seen her debut movie but judging from the trailers it seemed like she had a diction problem, or perhaps some difficulty pronouncing words while crying and whining. For this movie she was bubbly. She made fun of herself many times but was less annoying than usual, though still annoying. I think she is really targeting the masa-jologs roles and I think she is beginning to get used to such. Her speech pattern here was more consistent and the extra puff of air indicative of being conyo is less evident.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

25 Random Things About Dan

Rules: Once you have been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it is because I want to know more about you.

1. I am used to writing very looooong blog entries. But I think most people are not used to reading them, hahaha.

2. I gave my Nokia 6210 to a hypnotist. Take note: GAVE, not SNATCHED nor HELD-UP. I think they call them Budol-Budol Gang. Blow by blow account of this half a decade year old incident on next week's blog article.

3. I stalk people on the Internet. Before you get a restraining order consider that I do not have the slightest intention to blackmail or kidnap you. Ang feeling mo naman, hayop ka. These social sites are public domain and if you put details here that you consider private and would not like to share, why did you upload them in the first place? Idiot. I look at your contact list to see if we have common acquaintances. I look at your pictures to assess your general behavior. I look at your info wall to see if you speak a language that I might be studying at the moment. I look at your blog to see if you talk sense. As simple as that.

Saturday, February 7, 2009



I also had my doubts before entering the cinema. I thought this film would just be an endless tirade of moral and spiritual insights, a verbal jostle between a progressive priest and a conservative nun. Well, I think the dialogues were not at all that preachy. In fact, they were peppered with a good mix of sarcasm, wit, and naivete that I actually found some of them funny.

But more than anything else, you should watch this movie because of the acting. Do not mind the plot because it goes nowhere until it goes for the home run. How do I describe the plot? Well, imagine Meryl Streep and Phillip Seymour Hoffman playing table tennis for almost two hours. You know they are trying hard to outwit one another and the only source of anticipation is the curiosity as to who should end up victorious. That's about it.

Seven Pounds


I think the best one word description for this movie would be SAD. To call it tragic would be inappropriate. It is not as if the protagonist was bitch slapped by fate and left with no choice regarding his life. He made his choices and I do not agree with most of them.

I think you already know the premise of the film through the trailers but let me jog your memory. Will Smith is Tim, an aeronautical engineer from MIT. Inseparable from his blackberry, he causes a car accident claiming the lives of seven people including his fiancée. Grieving, he decides to steal his brother's IRS identity and now becomes Ben, in search for seven worthy recipients of his body organs and his house after deciding that he must also die.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans

The movie was dark. I mean, literally dark. It reminded me of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban in terms of over-all ambiance. I have not seen any of the first two installments so I was virtually clueless as to what this film was all about. On the contrary, I think I understood it pretty well since it is a prequel anyway.

I do not have to summarize this. It is your perpetual Marxist story. In fact, they could have entitled it: Capitalism According to Marx: Vampires and Werewolves Version. You have the oppressors and the exploited. The exploited gains class consciousness. The wannabe leader shouts, We can be slaves. Or we can be Lycans! Yahoo! Go Sparta! They stage a revolt. You do not have to be a rocket scientist to know how it ends.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

I Killed Someone and an Indonesian Man Got Arrested for It

I could not remember much. I was standing behind a car in a garage. The trunk was open and in it was a large sack drenched in blood. I looked at it with fear and resentment. I knew there was a body inside. A dead human body. As to how it ended up dead I had no idea. I just knew that there was a dead body inside and I was quite certain that it was I who did the dirty crime. I shut the car trunk, locked it, and went upstairs.

I chatted with two men but I could not recall what it was about. I was disturbed. I could not get the thought of rotting in prison out of my head. I would be arrested. I would live my life behind bars while the people who used to be part of my life raise their own families and get filthy rich. More than the regret of having taken a human life I was more concerned about life passing me by. See, when something tragic happens in your life, whether doing some crime or finding out that you have terminal cancer, the world would not stop for you. You get left behind. I went out of the garage and disappeared into the night.

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