Sunday, April 13, 2014

Game of Thrones (HBO): Season 4/Episode 2

4.2 The Lion and the Rose
Now answering to the name “Reek,” Theon becomes Ramsay Bolton’s fool. Shae’s indiscretion leads to Cersei and Tywin discovering her as Tyrion’s whore, effectively putting her life in jeopardy, and forcing Tyrion to ship her to Pentos. Melisandre continues burning people alive as a sacrifice to the Lord of Light. Bran spends more time honing his Warg abilities, possessing his dire wolf longer and longer each time. Joffrey and Margaery wed. As Oberyn and Loras eye each other at the banquet, Jaime approaches the young Tyrell and tells him he would never marry Cersei. He responds that neither would he. Joffrey puts on a show of midgets mocking Robb and other claimants to the throne, making everyone uncomfortable, particularly Sansa and Loras. He embarrasses Tyrion before drinking his celebratory wine, which he asks him to serve. It doesn’t take long before he chokes and falls to the floor with blood rushing out of his nostrils. The king has been poisoned, and Cersei is quick to point a finger at his little brother as the culprit.

Oh no they did not! OH NO THEY DID NOT! Holy shit. THEY MURDERED JOFFREY BIEBER! Damn. Now that he’s gone, Westeros just lost two divas. Remember that Lily Allen’s Brother, who lost his manhood last season, is probably the only brat that could match this brat. Inasmuch as I want them both to suffer, we all know that Westeros would be a boring place without them. But fear not, children, for the arrival of the Dornish Prince with an Accent (DPwaA) seems to spell doom for these Lannisters. And lest we forget, did you see how the Rose of Highgarden out-bitched Prince Charming with a simple, “Neither would you?” So sorry, Prince Charming, you need some ointment for that burn? Tsss... I feel sad for Gimli and his whore, but isn’t she a feisty one? We appreciate strong women, but sometimes you also need to use your brain. Courage alone can get you killed in King’s Landing, you know. Obviously, she doesn’t know how to play the game, the game which Gimli just lost. Hell hath no fury than a mother scorned. Queen Bitch has been called so many things, but we all agree that she’s a mommy first and foremost. Karma, Lannisters. Karma.

“A toast to the proud Lannister children: The Dwarf, the Cripple, and the Mother of Madness.” –Tyrion Lannister

<<Season 4/Episode 1                Season 4/Episode 3>>

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