I’m
not really sure if I should declare the pyramids of Teotihuacán as Mexico’s
biggest tourist draw. I mean, it is a UNESCO World Heritage site, but so are Chichen
Itza and a few dozens more scattered all over the country. Mexico City itself
already has three, so why bother sitting on a bus for an hour just to see some
Mesoamerican pyramids, right? Like, doh. And we haven’t even mentioned beaches
and the likes of Cancún yet. Well, tourists come in hordes to scale those
pyramids. Enough said. The rest is up to you.
Contrary
to popular belief, the general discourse in Mesoamerican studies is that the
Aztecs DID NOT build the pyramids of Teotihuacán. Whoever did is still the
focus of a controversial debate, but historians agree that the Aztecs came way
later. If you review your history books, the Aztec empire reached its full
glory in the 1400’s. The Pyramid of the Sun was completed in 100 AD. So, yeah,
that’s quite a stretch. But then again, these Mesoamerican civilizations are
one and the same to most people anyway so whatevs.
The
most common way of getting to the pyramids is via bus from Autobuses Norte,
which is a really big bus station in the northern area of DF, thus, the name. It
took me an hour via metro to get there because I live in Coyoacán, which is
down south. Add another hour of bus travel and I got a total of two hours. If
you are just on a holiday in Mexico City and your accommodation is located
somewhere close to the Zócalo, then it will take you less time to get there. If
you drive, renting a car is also a convenient option.
A
daytrip will not cost you an arm and a leg. I spent around MXN200 (~PHP550) from
Mexico City, and almost a third of that was lunch money. Entry to the museum is
already included in the MXN65 (~PHP180) admission fee. All in all, I spent
three hours walking to and from, climbing up and down, and sunbathing on those
pyramids. Add another hour or two if you include the museum and you might as
well be spending the entire day here, so you might want to ditch your afternoon
plans.
The
town itself deserves to be included as part of the itinerary. They have a big
church as well as colonial looking buildings worth a selfie or two. You might
also want to stop by for lunch if you could no longer bear another hour of hunger
going back to the capital. As for me, I badly needed a shower and my legs were
already threatening to kill me, so we immediately hopped on a bus and just had
late lunch back at Autobuses Norte. That’s what happens when you go on a
daytrip without eating or drinking anything.
But
of course, the main attraction are the pyramids, of which there are plenty but
only three seem to stand out: Pyramid of the Sun, Pyramid of the Moon, and the
Temple of Quetzalcoatl. Quetzalcoatl’s Temple appears to be the smallest one,
but also the most unique thanks to its intricate serpent heads made of stone. I
didn’t get to see that one because I immediately headed west, which is what
most tourists do because they only ever want to climb the two biggest ones.
“Se
prohibe entrar” means “Fuck off” in Spanish. Yes, genius, that means you aren’t
allowed to enter. The meaning is a bit close to that of “Entero Somewhere Elso”.
Now that you’re in Mexico, you better learn some basic colloquial expressions
such as “Era un buen día hasta que te ví” which is a longer but more colloquial
way of saying “Buenos días”. You should also memorize “Chinga tu madre” for “Thank
you” and “Vete a la chingada” instead of “Adiós” or “Hasta luego” for “Goodbye”.
There
were around 12 smaller pyramids surrounding the plaza in front of the Pyramid
of the Moon. The good news is that many tourists snub those smaller pyramids in
favor of the biggest one. That means you can have a pyramid all to yourself,
with only the occasional camwhore coming up for a minute or two for a quick selfie.
The views are obviously better from the top of the biggest one, but having a
pyramid of your own is way more fun! Climb the bigger ones later when the crowd
has died down.
The
hike to the top of the two biggest pyramids is challenging because it is a
steep climb, not because it’s high. I suppose the Big Buddha in Ngong Ping
would require more steps than either of these two. Exercise caution going up
and down, not just because of the steep incline, but also because the sides of those
pyramids are adorned with sharp uneven rocks that could crack your skull open even before
you hit the ground, if you decide to commit suicide by jumping off it, that is.
You
cannot climb all the way to the top of the Pyramid of the Moon, but you can do
so on the Pyramid of the Sun. Each one offers a good panoramic view of the
other. The peak of the Pyramid of the Sun is full of tourists most of the time.
If you are expecting an altar with human sacrifice, you will be gravely
disappointed. It’s a tourist attraction after all, so deal with it. But that
feeling of literally being high is something that will stay with you for an
hour or so. Make the most out of it.
[TEOTIHUACAN] Choose Your Own Pyramid
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