
For
a while there, I really, really felt very bad for our airport. To say that
Ngurah Rai amazed me would be an understatement. Did I mention that I find the
special counters for ASEAN nationals very amusing? It makes me feel special,
somehow. The airport was also replete with Caucasians on a holiday, and since
this is Bali, every white person you encounter would be Aussie unless proven
otherwise. With my carry on in tow, I headed towards the exit, right after
getting a green brochure for Fabulous Bali Tours.
You
might find it weird that I am not excited to go to the beach at all, despite
the rather tempting vibe the Aussies and their surfboards set the moment you
arrive at the airport. I have heard good things about Bali, but the beach is
definitely not one of them. I am talking about this as someone who comes from a
country with equally pristine beaches. I know Indonesia has a lot of beaches
that could compare in terms of aesthetics, but I don’t think Bali is one of
them.

This
is not to say that Bali sucks. On the contrary, it is amazing, but do remember
that this place has a lot more to offer than sea and sand. That is what I came
here for. Being a Hindu province in a predominantly Muslim country, you would
immediately notice the totally different vibe present here, more liberal in a
way if I may add. But there will always be a downside, and for Bali, I think it
is their public transportation. Most of the time, you would be riding taxis,
and not all of them are friendly.

Wait,
of course they are friendly. I guess what I mean is that they would not even
care to hide their obvious attempts to scam you. Make sure you negotiate the
price before hopping in. I had one quoting me 50,000 rupiah for a ride that was
less than five minutes. I wanted to drown that moron in the beach, but figured
that he was not worth the jail time. So I threw the 50,000 rupiah to his face
like a dissatisfied customer would to his whore. These taxi drivers are such
opportunistic bastards.

It
is mainly because of this that I decided to just entrust my tours to the hands
of a competent tour guide. In Bali, there are many of them, but I decided to
contact the guy on the green brochure. USD60 for a half day tour is quite
steep, but if that would save me from the clutches of taxi drivers who make me think
of murderous thoughts, then so be it. I forgot the name of the driver but he
was a rather chatty one who proved to be a good Bahasa Indonesia language
buddy. And the polyglot nerd in me rejoiced.

I
guess that is one of the things I really appreciate when I landed here. English
just took the backseat, and I have been speaking Indonesian with little
apprehension. It is not that easy to avoid, you see. Every time I go to this
side of Southeast Asia, everyone just assumes that I am one of them and would begin
to speak the vernacular with me. Being able to converse with them in their own
language offers a truly unique experience that is really fulfilling, despite
the fact that I still have a long way to go for proficiency.

The
itinerary for the day is not that jam-packed. First, we will be visiting temple
grounds in an area once under the control of the royal kingdom of the Mengwi.
It took us quite a while to reach the site itself, and I would have to admit
that I was not that impressed with what I saw. Perhaps, when one says “temple”
I always tend to equate it the ones you see in Bangkok or Beijing, and you know
just how colorful they could be. In Bali, temples are really humble in terms of
aesthetics. Simple brown would do.



There
should be a more profound explanation for the arrangement of the temples themselves.
Occupying a rectangular area at the middle of the park, the high-rising temples
are characterized by their monotonous brown hue, while the pyramidal roofs are
stacked one right after another. These towering structures are flanked by what
seems to be mini nipa huts wit thatched roofs. That afternoon, there was a monk
and two ladies inside the temple complex, but tourists were not allowed in.

After
the temple came the monkeys, and this would have to be the highlight of the
tour for me. I still have not finished the Korean drama What Happened in Bali,
but in the first episodes that showcased Bali the image that really got stuck
in my head was that of Chaebol Heir almost getting attacked by the monkey he
provoked. And hell yeah, are there not so many of them here. When we arrived at
Alas Kedaton, I was just overwhelmed by their cuteness.

These
Simian friends of ours are just like human beings! Besides, did they not fall
just one step short in the chain of evolution to join us as the superior
mammals in control of this Earth? What I found really cute were the ones who
had babies in tow. And of course you also have those who are trying to get rid
of their friends' fleas. They are so like mini human beings trying to survive a
lazy afternoon! I asked the tour guide why there are so many in the area, and
she simply replied that it is their natural habitat.

You
can buy peanuts to feed the monkeys for just 1000 rupiah, if I remember it
correctly. One of the big guys immediately tried to grab it from my hand, and
when it failed it started to climb me like it would a tree. The next thing I
knew, it was already standing on my shoulders, supporting its balance by
grasping my cap with one hand, shielding his eyes from the sunlight with
another while surveying his immediate surroundings. Luckily, I was able to immortalize that
moment on film! Did I mention I was really having fun?

The
indirect holdup starts when the guide brings you to the area where they keep
the bats, and then “suggest” that you take a photo for 60,000 rupiah or so.
This would be followed by a trip to her store, where she will then sell you
overpriced stuff. I guess what I really have to learn is how to say no, but how
can you do that to such a sweet and soft-spoken middle-aged woman who relies on
tourists for livelihood? I ended up spending anyway, but fine, it was for a
good cause.

Tanah
Lot served as the culmination of the day’s activities. They say that Uluwatu is
more surreal in terms of beauty, but I think seeing Tanah Lot was enough for
me. The sunset you witness there is just spectacular despite the tourist
infestation. Suffice it to say that it really teaches you how to appreciate the
simple things in life, such as that lovely sunset. As the receptionist at the
hostel warned me, the view was indeed romantic. You might be better off
visiting the place with your significant other.

As
for the surroundings, it is infested with tourists, enough said. Taking a
selfie would be pretty difficult in the crowded areas, but that popular view
with the cliff and the sunrise as your background is rather easy unless you are
competing with tourists who could either levitate or fly. The cliff to your
right could be visited alright, but the other cliff to the left is off-limits,
and is only accessible to the religious men who use it as a place of worship.
Or at least that is what my tour guide says he knows.

Dinner
is optional, but if you decide to include it in your package, you would usually
be served with typical Indonesian food. The cost is USD15, and I do not really
recommend it unless you really want a very comfortable all-inclusive and
hands-off approach to your itinerary. Come to think of it, your USD15 would go
quite far if you just spend it somewhere else. But if money is not really an
issue for you, then go ahead and spend away!
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