Sunday, February 8, 2009

25 Random Things About Dan

Rules: Once you have been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it is because I want to know more about you.

1. I am used to writing very looooong blog entries. But I think most people are not used to reading them, hahaha.

2. I gave my Nokia 6210 to a hypnotist. Take note: GAVE, not SNATCHED nor HELD-UP. I think they call them Budol-Budol Gang. Blow by blow account of this half a decade year old incident on next week's blog article.

3. I stalk people on the Internet. Before you get a restraining order consider that I do not have the slightest intention to blackmail or kidnap you. Ang feeling mo naman, hayop ka. These social sites are public domain and if you put details here that you consider private and would not like to share, why did you upload them in the first place? Idiot. I look at your contact list to see if we have common acquaintances. I look at your pictures to assess your general behavior. I look at your info wall to see if you speak a language that I might be studying at the moment. I look at your blog to see if you talk sense. As simple as that.

4. I am addicted to Nerds. Not the people with big glasses but the candy in square cartons. Red/Green is my favorite. Yellow/Red is an acceptable alternative. Violet/Pink is last resort. Blue/Green is out of the question. If Willy Wonka would adopt me I would be very glad, as long as he takes care of my then eventual diabetes related expenses.

5. When I was a kid I wanted to be a pilot like my uncle. Until Mathematics bitch slapped me with 77's and 79's during my freshman year in high school. And then I did not want to be a pilot anymore.

6. Math hates me. And I hate Math. The feeling is mutual.

7. Strange enough, I am interested in useless information, some of which involve numbers. I am addicted to TV Ratings (Mega Manila only, nationwide is corny), Box Office Results (both North American and Philippine), Oscar winners and peculiarities (honestly, when will Meryl Streep overtake Katharine Hepburn's four Oscar WINS?) and world geography (is it true that they changed South Africa's capital from Capetown to Pretoria? When did this happen?)

8. I am currently learning how to play the piano and the violin. I started with the latter but have had more significant progress with the former. I need every day to practice the violin. I do not have every day. That is sad. But at least I can now bow Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

9. My current job is boring me to death. I have no issues with being a bum and doing nothing. In fact, I can be Super Bum. But sitting in front of a computer for 12 hours and receiving only 2 calls, even that can be boring for Super Bum. If you thought your job was boring, think again. Or let us compare notes.

10. Like one of my cousins who tagged me, I never get fat. The pediatrician said I have a thyroid problem. According to a certain website, I should eat more than 2000 calories a day and around 150 grams of protein in order to gain weight. A Wendy's Baconator has 56 grams of protein. So should I eat three Baconators a day and try my luck in getting fat?

11. I do not speak a lot. Normally I would not say anything unless I am spoken to first. Right now my default accent when I speak English is Aussie, which means I slur my o's, turn my ei's to ai's, and pronounce t with more than the usual aspiration.

12. I am usually catatonic. If you see me staring blankly ahead, do not worry I am not yet dead (Rhyme! Rhyme!) More often than not I would probably just be lost in thought, thinking about the next five years, budgeting the remaining time for the day, or wasting time regretting things that have already come to pass. This is normal for me.

13. My favorite color is green. But when it comes to colors black has been my preference for a long time now. Black is always formal. Black goes with any other color. Black is the color of boredom. Black is the color of darkness. Black is supreme.

14. I acknowledge three personalities. The first is the social one. Present during the host body's birth, he went on a coma for many years. He is trying to stage a comeback now and wants the intellectual one to get fired from his job. He is cyrokinetic. He likes to dance. He feels comfortable in the ice skating rink. He likes France and the French language.

15. The intellectual one is the dominant entity. He took over when education became the primary reason for the host body's existence. He learns different languages non-stop and has found his own method of doing so. He lives in the real world and bases his decisions on pragmatism and rationality, unlike the other one who lives in fictional Utopia. He is telekinetic, or wants to think that he is when he has the luxury to waste time.

16. The third one is wrathful and malevolent. He is pyrokinetic. He refers to men as morons, to women as bitches, and to anyone in general as idiots. He likes to ax-kick people. He has a very short temper. He wants to learn Russian and German but the intellectual one would not permit it until 2010. He is dormant right now but like the social one, he wants the intellectual one fired from his job. He is evil. He likes listening to Britney Spears' Womanizer. He likes to dye our hair white. Weird, I know.

17. I do not intend to live past 60. Would you? How boring is that.

18. If ever I get to have a kid of my own I would name him Pietro, or her Elvira. Pietro because it sounds cool. Elvira because it sounds old-school bitchy. The mother could choose the second name, if we are binded by law.

19. Being the language geek that I am, I was not able to learn Bahasa Malaysia even when I lived in that country for nine months. I always attribute this to lack of interest. I am trying to learn it again now. I have just completed my Tahun Satu (Elementary One) kiddie school books, proceeding to Tahun Dua next week, up to Tahun Enam (Elementary Six), then high school 1 - 4, then KBSR.

20. I have the bad habit of glaring at people. No, Medusa and I are not related. Nor am I interested to breed with you. It is just something that I have gotten so used to doing it and it is just quite difficult to unlearn. Further explanation in a future blog entry.

21. I am retarded and arrogant. I love theme parks and kiddie parks. And parks in general. If I see monkey bars, swings, and see-saws I get a little bit agitated though you might not notice it. If I see a roller coaster I would suddenly disappear, and the next thing you know I am already on it. I am arrogant, as is obvious in my blog entries. You just think otherwise because like I said, I seldom speak.

22. My face has a singular uniform expression. I lack the human capability to express excitement or happiness. They are very hard emotions to fake and I do not do them convincingly. This makes people around me a little bit uneasy. Do not worry. The problem is not you. It is me.

23. I inherited my mother's brown eyes and her Gollum teeth. No, for the umpteenth time I am not wearing contact lenses. And no, you would not see me smile that much because I refuse to. Perhaps a little bit, but not very often. I have an overbite and my teeth so hate one another that they decided to keep considerable distance from each other. Yes, I am thinking of getting braces. Braces at 23. Damn, this is so Betty.

24. Southpark is the only TV show on Earth that can regularly make me laugh. Eric Cartman beats the hell out of Steve Carrell in the comedy department. Jesus has his own talk show. Satan gets to sing in falsetto while having a duet with Saddam. Terrence and Phillip fart and slap people for no particular reason. Matt and Trey are the best.

25. I have three 5.0's in Diliman. Mathematics 17, Mathematics 100, and Economics 190.1. Cumulative total of 12 units repeated. Did I mention I hate Math? I have five 1.0's in Diliman. Spanish 10, Spanish 11, Spanish 12, Spanish 13, and Geography 1 (where only an idiot would not get a 1.0.) Oops, sorry kung may natamaan! Shet I'm so evil, hahaha.

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