Saturday, August 16, 2008

Overbooked

Three months in Tokyo, two months in Seoul, five days in Brisbane, and two years and a half of haggard slavery to earn the bucks that would maintain the complicated mechanism called My Life running. This is what’s in store for me after I get my hands on that freaking diploma. Wow, maybe I should just jump off our veranda, *joke!* I don’t know why I subject myself to this kind of torture. Hopefully I’m not the only one. How retarded is this?

It will always remain a mystery as to why some people can never be satisfied in leaving their life to fate. Life could be as easy as one, two, three, but why do some people make a complicated Math equation out of it? And to reiterate a favorite quote which happens to be a personal cliché, “Having too many plans in life is worse than having no plan at all!” In the end you don’t end up following anything anyway and to worsen the situation you’d come to realize that you did not enjoy the ride because you were too busy being paranoid all the time. Of course when you have no plans in life you just go with the flow and try to enjoy the journey. I think the reasoning is flawed; well life too!

I almost gave up on that stupid college degree last summer. I already informed my parents that I needed a break and then that tirelessly optimistic voice in my head kept saying, Ituloy mo na one semester na lang e. Thank you, tirelessly optimistic voice. The last few months have been chaotic at best but with barely a month and a half to go I think I’ll make it through all of this. I’d have to, or else I’ll go ballistic. And suddenly I realize, “Hey! What the hell, from one chaos to another? I should fire whoever is planning this stupid life! Wait a minute, that’s me!” *Bwahaha.*


I already made a promise to myself that I would just enjoy after November. I could get a part-time job that would be enough to cover my monthly expenses and immerse myself in the arts. It would just be four hours of work, three hours of languages and the rest is for every possible recreational activity that I could think of: getting chummy with literature, dancing, music lessons, etc. Unfortunately that voice in my head claiming to be pragmatic thinks that they are all bullshit, fruitless activities that would have no bearing on the acquisition of skills necessary to skip materialistic existence and hop over to the next level. I so hate my head/brain/mind right now. Shit. What ever happened to the “Start and Worry about Life and Career at 25” mantra?

If I really believe that life is supposed to be nothing but a series of fun and exciting language field trips, then why do I not feel 100% happy about it? I guess I really am overbooked, huh? If your life is summarized in an Excel file, there must be something wrong with it. I swear if I wake up tomorrow morning as a Lhasa Apso in Tibet, I couldn’t be any happier. *Woof! Woof!*

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