(1) Money can’t buy happiness, or maybe you just don’t have enough time to shop. Make time.
(2) A slut studded with diamonds from head to toe is still a slut, unless she’s actually a mutant who can also do mind control, which makes her super cool.
(3) Every villain has an interesting story to tell, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s an insufferable jerk.
(4) The world will screw you over from time to time. Remember that you always have the option to return the favor.
(5) When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, but keep in mind that it’s the milkshake that brings all the boys to the yard, and they’re like...